All Over Again

 A few nights ago, I had a dream about Sophie. My family traveled to China, and to MBHOH, but not to get Sophie. This was before we had our paperwork finished, so I’m not sure exactly what we were doing. But we spent almost a day at MBHOH, and then we had to come back home.
 In my dream, before we left MBHOH, I told my parents, “I have to go see Franky before we leave.” So I ran down to the Jungle Book Room, and saw her….held her, played with her, laughed with her, and cried with her….all over again. I talked to her as she flipped silly bands at me, and sat with her mouth hung open. But then, in just a short time, we had to say, “Goodbye, “all over again. It didn’t feel any better either. I hugged her, smiled through my tears running into my mouth, and left the room.

 I knew that I would see her again. Just…another “goodbye” before we were together forever.

 But, my dream continued and I sat at this table with family. Before we left, the Jungle Book Room kiddos were walking in a line, to play on the playground. The children walked in a nice, single file line, and then Sophie was at the end….and she slowed down, staring at me, like she always did. I forced a weak smile and finally said, “I love you!” And she answered, as plain as day, “…..Love you too!” and walked away, all chipper.

 That was the end of my dream. Or at least, all that I can remember.
 I don’t know what it meant, but it made me really sad. It was like the heartache of saying goodbye and leaving, all over again.
 I told my mom about it, and she thought it might be that God’s letting me know that she is okay. Maybe that God’s telling me, by the words spoken from her mouth, that He is protecting her until she is with us. I am holding onto that, and remembering her little face that I saw so clearly in my mind. I am praying, so so hard that the day we meet again is not far away.
 I had that dream two nights ago, so yesterday she was on my mind more than usual. We went shopping a little bit that afternoon, for Sophie and the boys, and I couldn’t help but miss her with everything inside of me. Brodee asked yesterday, “Is baby ‘Soapie’ still in China? I want to talk to her. Can I talk to her on the phone?” Kadin and Brodee will be amazing big brothers.
 
Please pray that God will continue to watch over Sophie’s little body. And that I will keep my sanity while I am a world away from my precious little sister.  I’d like to also say a quick thank you for everyone’s response to our last blog. Your generosity is overwhelming and humbling! I am forever thankful for the love you all are showing to our family.

-Emily

Fundraiser

We have started a fundraiser that will allow you to be a part of bringing our Sophie home.  We have a 1,000 piece puzzle with Sophie's picture on it.  We are asking for sponsors to donate $5 per piece of the puzzle.  We will then put your name on the back of the puzzle.  When it is all complete, we will mount it in a glass frame that will allow Sophie to see all the people who helped bring her home.  Donations can be mailed to

Rachel Edwards
27201 Stipps Hill Rd.
Greensburg, IN  47240

Thank you in advance for your help in bringing our little girl home!

                             I will not abandon you as orphans; I will come to you.  John 14:18

Why So Much Money??

Many people have asked why international adoptions cost so much.  So I thought I would share a bit of where all the money goes and why (to the best of my ability):

*Indicates what we have already paid

Adoption Expenses in the United States

Application Fee                 $200*

First Program Fee            $2250*

Second Program Fee      $2260

Third Program Fee           $1650

Home Study                       $1500*

Physicals & Blood work  $900*

Care of the Child

Orphanage Fee                $5200

Translation & Document Expenses

Dossier Preparation        $450*

Adoption Registration

& Notarization                   $400*

Child’s Passport                  $100

Child Physical &

Photo                                    $80

Child US Entry Visa            $404

Court Validation Fee       Varies

Our Passports                    $270*

Passport Photos               $35*

Post Adoption Service

Post Adoption Deposit  $1000

Third Party Fees

USCIS Filing &

Fingerprinting                    $890

CCCWA Fee                        $1050

Child’s State

Birth Certificate                Varies

Travel & Accommodations Expenses

Visa to enter China          $280

US Document &

International Airfare       $1200-$1800 per adult

In-China Travel &

Accommodations             $2600-$3200 for two adults

Food                                    $600-$800 per couple

As you can see, we have a long way to go!  I’m finding out that everything tips towards the higher side and we have had some unexpected expenses as well.  But, God is good and HE owns EVERYTHING!  Nothing is impossible for HIM even when our checkbook screams from all of the intrusions!   We truly believe that the Lord has brought Sophia into our lives and we will be together soon enough. 

-Rachel

That's What Faith Can Do



Silly Franky :)



 Each minute spent with Franky, our relationship grew more and more. By the second day with her, I experienced her silly side. I was laying on the floor, talking to another little girl in the Jungle Book Room, Jaelynn. Franky walked over beside me and plopped right down on my belly, with the biggest smile.  

Franky and Jaelynn

Saying, "Goodbye"

 One morning, I went to the Jungle Book Room before breakfast, with a good friend on my team, Madeleine. A few minutes until 8am, I was given my cue that it was breakfast time, time to leave. Right as I gave Franky a hug, she grabbed two of my fingers with her little hand, not about to let go. She was dragging me to door, and making an odd face – what I learned, then, to be the face before she’s getting ready to burst into tears. I don’t know what she wanted, since she isn’t talking yet, but she was not letting go. Finally, one of the nannies took her, and Franky fell on the ground, crying. How on earth could I leave her like this? Madeleine finally was like, “Come on. Let’s go.” I watched her crying, through the window, as I had only one choice, to walk away. My heart shattered, and I walked away with tears flowing down my face, as I made my way to breakfast.
 Like I said, I don’t know what she wanted, but she was headed for the door. I still have that image in my head, today. It was like she was saying, “Don’t leave me. Please don’t leave me.”
 I wrote this in my journal, and at the bottom, I wrote, “I can’t leave Franky anymore. We have to adopt her. That’s just it.”

 Leaving Maria’s pretty much killed me. I’ve said over and over again that leaving that place, leaving those children, leaving my sister – even when we weren’t, I knew in my heart that she was my sister….it was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. Maria’s Big House of Hope is kind of a place, where you can’t leave and be okay with it.

 I came back home, on June 14^th. I a few short phone conversations with my family while I was in China, telling them about Franky. And they were on board with it. They were going crazy, calling agencies, and even got passports for China….while I was still in China!
 When my parents picked me up at the airport in Chicago, we got in the car, and I showed them a picture of Franky and I. I was kissing her forehead….it was when we said goodbye. And I came out and said it. “Guys. We have to go get her.” And while I was saying this, Mom pointed to a Target bag in the seat, beside me. I looked in the bag and found a picture frame, that said, “Sisters.”
 You know those crazy moments when everybody involved are all on the same page. Yeah, it’s called a God thing.
 From here on out, little “God things” keep happening.

 Anyways.  The whole month of June and July were very tough. We got in touch with an agency in Colorado, and waited and waited and waited.
 Something Chris Wheeler told us, when we were leaving China was, “When feeling’s fade, faith begins.” It’s okay to let your feelings go, was basically what he was encouraging. I kept that in my heart throughout the time I was “letting go.” And you know….letting go isn’t so easy – or, as easy as I imagined. Being in such a place, experiencing God’s presence in a whole new way, and just understanding God’s purpose for your life…and coming back to reality, it’s not exactly easy.
 The whole time of letting go of the experience, I had the picture of Franky crying in my head. I kind of took that story and viewed it, spiritually. I just couldn’t let go of her hand. Walking away, moving on with life has left me broken and torn apart. In the physical part, I knew that I would see her again later on that day, but for that moment….just for that moment…I had to leave her, hurting. And even leaving her to go back to my home, to be a world away from her, I knew I’d see her again. I know, today, that we will meet again, only we won’t have to say goodbye anymore.
 But out of nowhere, Father says, “Come on. Let’s go.” That’s when having faith began.


 Another short story, I’d like to share.
 In mid-July whenever we were still waiting to be matched, one song meant a lot to me, during that time. I had just come back from Washington D.C., when I got the news that we might not be able to adopt Franky. And I almost believed that we wouldn’t. The Sunday being back, somebody requested that I sang a song by Kutless, “What Faith Can Do.” I was in a bad mood from lack of sleep, and I hadn’t sang that song in a while, but I did it. And barely got through it, once it applied to my life.

 “I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains, hope that doesn’t ever end, even when the sky is falling. I’ve seen miracles just happen, silent prayers get answered, broken hearts become brand new. That’s what faith can do.”


And so three weeks later, we got a phone call: “We found her file…she’s yours if you want her!” We couldn’t scream, “YES!” any faster. :)

That’s what faith can do.


-Emily Edwards

Franky and I

"I Found My Sister"

 In our first blog, my Mom talked about our family coming into completion, through adoption. It’s not an easy journey, but it’s worth it, and I feel like this is our…or at least my purpose of existing.

 We named this blog, Finding Franky, and it’s pretty self explanatory. We created this to share her story, my story, our story…
 My name is Emily Edwards. As of now, I live in a house with my Mom and my Dad, my older, biological brother, and my two younger foster brothers, in a tiny, tiny town in Indiana. Franky, soon to be renamed Sophia, is my little sister. She will complete our home soon, but for now, she is still in China.

 Not quite two years ago, I received a subscription email from Steven Curtis Chapman’s website, inviting students to join Show Hope (an organization to care for orphans) in visiting special needs orphans at a special care center, Maria’s Big House of Hope (MBHOH). Located in Luoyang, China, MBHOH is a huge, 6 story, blue building that houses and provides medical attention to some of the most precious children.
 Two things that stuck out when I read the email were 1) children and 2) China. I’ve developed an interesting fascination with China’s culture and its people ever since I was 10 years old and attended a Mission’s Camp where missionaries in China came as the Camp Missionaries. God has also put a love in my heart for babies, and young children. I enjoy teaching them about God’s love and trying to get inside of their understandings and thoughts about life, Jesus, etc. The mind of my four year old brother, Kadin, completely amuses me.
 Anyways. I spent the whole year of 2010 praying about applying to go on this 12 day trip to Luoyang, China. The more I talked about it, the more those around me thought I was crazy to want this. But, applying in November, and getting accepted in January, God has shown me over and over again that it has always been in His favor for me to serve in China.
 The Lord wasn’t only moving in my heart, but also my Mother’s, while I prayed about this trip. When we tell our story about Franky, my Mom says over and over again, “We’ve always known that our family was incomplete.” But honestly, I never knew that until a year ago when my Mom was really considering adoption through the foster care system. I had always wanted a sister, older or younger, didn’t matter. I’ve always to be a big sister, live in a big family, with lots of older and younger siblings….just like the Waltons! Haha. But, I never thought that small desire was God’s will for my family. And it turns out that that was a HUGE desire in my Mom’s heart. I guess we just never talked about it….until a year ago.
 Now, we’ve done foster care in the past, when I was really young, but after our license expired several years ago, we never renewed it. But, Mom brought the four of us together, and just laid it out there…”What do you guys think about getting our foster care license again, only fostering to adopt?” This rocked our world.
 So, my desire for the privilege of being an older sister grew and grew until I realized that I had a little sister in this world, I just never knew her. Have you ever wanted something so bad, that you’re just miserable? The realization of the existence of my little sister broke my heart….and I didn’t even know her. Not a name, not a face, not a location of where she might be….but I knew she was out there. (I never expected China, though!!!)
 My trip was in June, so from January to June, God had a lot to show me.
 My family finished the process of getting their foster care license in January, so we did a lot of waiting. We inquired about several children, we drove many miles to meet some children, overnight stays, we developed attachments, to whenever things fell through, it hurt on both sides. To make a long story short, January to June – the first 6 months of 2011 were horrible. I got my hopes up a lot and many hearts were broken. I mean….God has a huge heart for orphans….when you feel like you’re finally doing something right, and everything goes wrong, it really hurts. It really does…I can’t explain the pain, tears, and sleepless nights that were experienced during this time. But, even though it was a dark time, God was still working…He was working at something SO much bigger than we had planned.
 Besides the deal with fostering to adopt, God sent little signs after signs, reminding me that I was supposed to go to China. One of the many things that I’ve learned out of this, my fellow bloggers, is that we serve a God of details. To God, every little detail matters. Every single piece of the puzzle completes the big, pretty picture in the end.
 I had no reason to believe that God did not create me to go to China. Tiny things would happen and I would just sit back and say, “Okay God… Another reminder that You want me in China...” Even the little old ladies at church, (that even prayed that I wouldn’t be able to go!) would hug me and say, “The Lord has amazing things for you, over there…”
 One day, when I was talking to my Grandma, I said, “Man.. I don’t know what God has for me in China…but it’s going to be incredible.” And she answered, “Well, maybe you’ll find your sister?”

Bam. That sentence slapped me across the face. And for a moment, I felt like everything in my life made sense. When I think about it now, every detail, every predicament, every desire has led me to Luoyang, China….and I had no idea.


 In mid-May, things were really crazy with getting geared for China. I had half way met some of the people of my team via Facebook, and I saw a link posted by someone from my team, it was a video on Youtube, posted by Show Hope….the children of MBHOH! And I was like, Oh yay! These are some of the kids I’m going to meet! My Mom and I were watching it, when it came to the clip of this little girl, with dark hair, and an ornery smile. I swear, it was only about three seconds long. But, when we saw it, we rewinded it and paused it on this little girl, named, Franky. It was crazy, because she looked exactly like myself, when I was around a year and a half. The smile, the hair, (if hers were only curlier!) and even the way she was standing, the mischievous look on her face….we all stopped and was like, “She so looks like Emily!” We compared the paused picture on the video and one of my baby pictures, it was crazy.
 Three weeks later, I was China bound!
 We left on the 3^rd of June, Friday, and arrived at MBHOH, late, on Sunday night. Monday morning, the whole team went nuts, so eager to see the babies that we’ve only heard about and seen pictures of! I was incredibly pumped myself, and pretty much just followed other people around, since this was a whole new ballgame for me.
 That afternoon, we had our first team devotion at MBHOH. One of our leaders, Chris Wheeler, told us to pick one of the children – not to pick favorites….but, like, there are a lot of children in that big house, and as our team of 21, and as one person, we obviously can’t love on every single child, but we can love one. So, our goal for the week was to pick one child, learn about them – their likes, dislikes, medical problems, etc., and just love them. Be God’s hands to them.
 My mind automatically went to Franky. I hadn’t met her yet, I didn’t know where she was in that building, or if she was even still there. And I got scared. I was so afraid that she wasn’t there anymore. It was a feeling that I don’t think I ever experienced before…. I felt like I was going to burst into tears at any given moment. I don’t know why, because I didn’t know a thing about her. My wonders of her were based on a three second video clip.
So, my heart raced rapidly, as I walked up to our other leader, Melissa, to ask if she was there, and where she was.
 Yes. She lives in the Jungle Book Room, on the first floor.
 I think I ran all the way down the first floor and to the Jungle Book Room. Then, I walk in…and there she is. I opened the green door, and she was waiting on the other side, ran to me, arms up. It all happened so fast that I didn’t even know what to feel. I had my notebook with an empty page, ready to fill out everything I could learn about this kid, my ink pen, and my blue water bottle.
 There was a group of people, Nannies, and children in the middle of the floor….smiles, laughter, joy….and I sat on the outside of the clump of people, sitting on the mat, just trying to grasp everything. Franky would take all of my things, rip my notebook to pieces, and she carried my water bottle throughout that whole room. And she just stared at me, never taking her eyes off of me. It was as if she knew that there was something about me, as I knew that there was something about her as well.

 The first and only words that I could find to put in my devotion book, and in my China journal, was, “I’ve found her. I found my sister.”


This is a really long blog, so I decided to stop here. I feel like I’ve shared a lot, but I’ll share more of the time we spent together, later on.

-Emily Edwards
 

                                           Franky enjoying some Birthday cake! She has a
                                            sweet tooth, just like her big sis:)

                                           Franky (left) and Little Emily (right) about 2yrs old.

Puzzle Pieces

I have always enjoyed putting puzzles together.  I love to be snowed in on a winter day with a cup of hot chocolate and a 1000 pieces spread all over the dining room table!  But sometimes the puzzle can be too much of a challenge.  After awhile of not finding a match, we become anxious and frustrated.  The pieces all start looking alike or the amount unfinished makes the task seem too long.  It is only fun when everything is going smoothly.  That is when the box becomes so important.  We can turn to the box to see the full picture.  It is easier to find the matching pieces when you can see what the finished project will look like. 


But life doesn't come with a box with a pretty picture on it.  We can't see what it will look like in the end because every piece changes the picture.  Our adoption has been much like a huge puzzle that is scattered all over.  God is giving us one piece of the puzzle at a time.  He knows that we cannot handle all of it at once.  We are weak.  He helps us to exercise our faith with one small piece at a time. 


We are so eternally grateful that HE has chosen to bless us by adding Sophia Grace into our family.  We have been working towards this moment even before we knew it.  


In 2009, a woman on the other side of the world made the terribly hard decision to give up her daughter.  We may never know why.  Maybe it was because she was too young to care for her or she couldn't give her the medical attention that she needed.  It doesn't matter.  She gave her life and for that I am grateful.  At that same time, my own heart was longing for more children.  Not a day went by that I didn't realize the fact that our family was not complete.  My arms would literally ache from the emptiness.  Sophia Grace was such a part of my everyday life even if I didn't know who she was yet.  I have always been amazed at how I could miss someone so badly that I never even knew!


Now, two years later, God has given us a glimpse of what HE is doing.  Our home is filled with little people again.  We are always eager to tell anyone who will listen about our precious little girl who is waiting for her Mommy & Daddy on the other side of the world.


-Rachel Edwards