March 1, 2012Happy Birthday, Sophie!
Dear Sophie,
Eight months. It’s been eight months.
I haven’t seen you in so long. I miss you greatly. It has been over eight months since our goodbye. Eight months into my past, I longed so much to know where I would be right now. With all of the chaos and confusion and pain in being a world away from you, I am right where I wanted to be – doing everything I can to see you again.
With every single ounce of my being, I am thankful that God brought you to me. I still remember the day we met, how you looked curiously at me. I remember holding you when you cried and joining you shortly afterwards. I remember the way your chubby hands felt, holding tightly to my fingers and the unique texture of your hair. The memories of your beautiful country and everything in it have faded a lot with time, but those special memories hit me every once in a while and I remember again.
With every single ounce of my being, I am thankful that God brought you to me. I still remember the day we met, how you looked curiously at me. I remember holding you when you cried and joining you shortly afterwards. I remember the way your chubby hands felt, holding tightly to my fingers and the unique texture of your hair. The memories of your beautiful country and everything in it have faded a lot with time, but those special memories hit me every once in a while and I remember again.
Today is your birthday, Sophia Grace. Three years ago, God brought you to this earth with a great purpose. Time has flown by and you’re getting so big now. You’re a tiny little girl but God has performed HUGE miracles in your three years of life. I’m excited to see the miracles yet to be shown through you. No word in the dictionary can describe how overjoyed I am to be a part in your life.
Something that you may or may not know is that I have waited a lifetime for you. I have searched and waited and prayed that God would bring us together soon. Little did I know the faith I would have to have, the miles I would have to travel, and the pain I would have to endure to find you.
Sophie, through your life, I have received joy. I experienced a kind of unexplainable happiness when I was with you and knowing that leaving you wasn’t the end. You gave me a reason to smile through my tears and to laugh when my world is shaking.
Through your three years of life, I have learned what hope truly is. I think that hope is believing with your soul, knowing that God holds the future, and that the best is yet to come. You have taught me how to hold onto God when there is nothing else left to hold onto. You’ve taught me to trust and to believe and to keep dreaming in the midst of a thousand voices screaming, “It’s impossible!”
I have been given the gift of courage, through you. I faced many fears to get to you and I have conquered many more just by seeing what God is capable of doing through small people. I have been on a roll of public speaking….I have shared my story of finding you to so many people in so many different places. You are rocking hearts everywhere! I am no longer afraid of planes – I actually love flying now. I have written many songs because of you and I have actually PLAYED and SANG them to people…lots of them! Oh, and I just started to learn how to drive last month, just because I can! I’ve spent years afraid of coming to the point of learning to drive…but want to know what I told myself? I said, “Whatever. I can do it.” So….I did. I took Driver’s Ed and I learned all about cars and driving. And now I love to drive.
God has taught me how to love, through you. With GOD’S love….the truest love in the world. I never knew that I could love a human as much as I love you. I never thought that I could care enough about someone to see my life as, “it’s really not about me.” Please know that I never could’ve found you or had this much faith to believe that you were really out there without experiencing the never-ending love of God. I never could have had enough courage to step way out of my comfort zone if God hadn’t shown me a love that is so unconditional. But I have, and that’s why I was able to whisper to you, “Wo Ai Ni (I love you)” and mean it with every part of me.
Sophie, through your life, I have received joy. I experienced a kind of unexplainable happiness when I was with you and knowing that leaving you wasn’t the end. You gave me a reason to smile through my tears and to laugh when my world is shaking.
Through your three years of life, I have learned what hope truly is. I think that hope is believing with your soul, knowing that God holds the future, and that the best is yet to come. You have taught me how to hold onto God when there is nothing else left to hold onto. You’ve taught me to trust and to believe and to keep dreaming in the midst of a thousand voices screaming, “It’s impossible!”
I have been given the gift of courage, through you. I faced many fears to get to you and I have conquered many more just by seeing what God is capable of doing through small people. I have been on a roll of public speaking….I have shared my story of finding you to so many people in so many different places. You are rocking hearts everywhere! I am no longer afraid of planes – I actually love flying now. I have written many songs because of you and I have actually PLAYED and SANG them to people…lots of them! Oh, and I just started to learn how to drive last month, just because I can! I’ve spent years afraid of coming to the point of learning to drive…but want to know what I told myself? I said, “Whatever. I can do it.” So….I did. I took Driver’s Ed and I learned all about cars and driving. And now I love to drive.
God has taught me how to love, through you. With GOD’S love….the truest love in the world. I never knew that I could love a human as much as I love you. I never thought that I could care enough about someone to see my life as, “it’s really not about me.” Please know that I never could’ve found you or had this much faith to believe that you were really out there without experiencing the never-ending love of God. I never could have had enough courage to step way out of my comfort zone if God hadn’t shown me a love that is so unconditional. But I have, and that’s why I was able to whisper to you, “Wo Ai Ni (I love you)” and mean it with every part of me.
The day we meet again cannot come fast enough, but we’re trying as hard as we can, I promise. I imagine that day and daydream about that moment so often. It’s so close, yet so far away…
I am so excited to be your big sister, to love you, and to care for you. I promise to always be there for you when you need ears to listen, a shoulder to cry on, a hand to help you, mouth to teach you, and encouraging words to support you with whatever you choose to make of your life. You were created to make a difference in the world, Sophia Grace. You’ve already made a difference in me and in my family. God is using you to stir hearts, everywhere….. Always keep your eyes on Christ and trust in Him always. You will never go wrong with going to the Lord with whatever you’re facing.
“God is never early and He is never late. He is always right on time and His plans for you are good.”
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| We love you, Sophie! |
Sophie, we all are looking forward to having you in our lives. Mommy, Daddy, Caleb, Kadin, Brodee, and me. Brodee often says, “Soapie lives in China….far, far away. She needs to come home NOW.” I agree with him so much. As I write this, (February 29th, 2012) it is 6AM where you are now. We sent a birthday package for you, today, to a lady that will be throwing the March birthday parties in a couple of weeks at MBHOH! I can’t wait for you to receive your gift from your family.
So many people are thinking of you as you turn three years old, today. You are deeply loved and wanted.
Wo Ai Ni. I love you, Sophia Grace Edwards.
Your Big Sister,
Emily
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| Sisters forever. Forever and ever. |
