Why I’m writing this at midnight, is the question to which I will never have a reasonable answer. But I have to write about today (4/4/12) and this is the first chance I have received all day!
I haven’t blogged in a long while, I was beginning to think that it was because I’ve been extremely busy and/or I haven’t had anything to say (< which we ALL know that this is untrue…I am an Edwards. I am a talker.) But I’ve been very discouraged in the past couple of weeks about the Chinese adoption.
To those who follow our adoption on Facebook, you probably know that our little Sophie was moved from MBHOH about a month and a half ago. She turned 3 years old in March and she has spent almost all of her life at that big blue house. That’s all she ever knew. So, it broke my heart to know that she has been out of her comfort zone for a while now; it hurts me to know that she was probably scared and confused. It made me want her home even more.
Meanwhile, we have been waiting for our LOA (Letter Of Acceptance) for around 4 weeks. This has been the next step that needed to be accomplished for us to move on in the adoption process.
From keeping up with other families who are in the process, as well, we predicted that ours would come about 4 weeks ago…we waited for the longest time, it felt like. And, when weeks passed and we still did not have our Letter, the more dispirited I became.
From keeping up with other families who are in the process, as well, we predicted that ours would come about 4 weeks ago…we waited for the longest time, it felt like. And, when weeks passed and we still did not have our Letter, the more dispirited I became.
I would pray and pray and ask God multiple times that He would bring our LOA to us very soon. And finally, one day last week, I was over waiting. I was always told to ask specifically from God and believe and to pray as if you have already received it. So, on a Thursday morning, I think, I prayed, “Today, God. We need our Letter TODAY.” I asked and I chose to believe that it would come that day. Which, it didn’t, but I wasn’t upset….I had a peace that God definitely had a bigger plan.
The next night, I had a very strange dream.
Before I tell the story, I have to tell another story about a special bracelet of mine. This past Christmas, my parents gave me a cool, little bracelet that has the Bible verse, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20)”
I always loved the verse and it was cool because last year required lots of faith for God to perform the miracles in my life that He did. I always thought it was pretty and all, though, it wasn’t all that special to me. Like, I had never worn it, yet.
Before I tell the story, I have to tell another story about a special bracelet of mine. This past Christmas, my parents gave me a cool, little bracelet that has the Bible verse, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘move from here to there’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. (Matthew 17:20)”
I always loved the verse and it was cool because last year required lots of faith for God to perform the miracles in my life that He did. I always thought it was pretty and all, though, it wasn’t all that special to me. Like, I had never worn it, yet.
But, in my dream, I dreamt that my family (minus Sophie…apparently it was in the present time) was coming home after a late night. We pulled into our driveway as a big, black truck was pulling out. I remember thinking, “huh. That’s weird,” but never putting much thought into it. And, when we pulled around to our normal parking places, behind our house, we were startled: our house had been broken into. We then realized that the people in the black truck had stolen almost everything in our house.
As uneasy as we all were, I remember that I was only worried about one thing – my bracelet. I kept thinking about it and hoping that they didn’t steal it. But, to my disappointment, I made my way to my bedroom to find it missing from its original place. My pretty bracelet was stolen. I was heartbroken.
As uneasy as we all were, I remember that I was only worried about one thing – my bracelet. I kept thinking about it and hoping that they didn’t steal it. But, to my disappointment, I made my way to my bedroom to find it missing from its original place. My pretty bracelet was stolen. I was heartbroken.
It was so real. My emotions were as clear as day. I woke up immediately and walked over to my jewelry hanger. There it was. My bracelet sat there on its hanger like it always was. I picked it up and read the verse again and saw the tiny mustard seed inside of the cross.
I saw it in a whole new way since then. That morning, I was at home, babysitting Kadin and Brodee. Just the three of us. I texted Mom about my dream, thinking, “how odd!” And she replied, “You have the sweetest dreams.”
Unsure of what exactly that dream meant, I went to three women whom I look up to so much, about it: My Mom, My Aunt Georgie, and my cousin, Tammy Houston. Godly women with great advice.
They all had the same response: “Maybe God is telling you to not let anyone steal your faith?”
They all had the same response: “Maybe God is telling you to not let anyone steal your faith?”
When Georgie told me this, she then continued asking, “Is there anything in your life, right now, that you need to have faith for?” My immediate answer was, “Our LOA!”
I told Georgie about the last couple of weeks and how discouraging they had been and that I had been waiting for our LOA to come. She told me, “Don’t let people or circumstances discourage you. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your faith. Keeping trusting and believing in the Lord.”
I told Georgie about the last couple of weeks and how discouraging they had been and that I had been waiting for our LOA to come. She told me, “Don’t let people or circumstances discourage you. Don’t let anyone or anything steal your faith. Keeping trusting and believing in the Lord.”
With my 16th birthday coming up, this Friday, in the middle of our conversation, my Uncle Junior comes up and said something about my birthday being this Friday. Georgie got all excited and said, “We are going to pray that your LOA
So, as I learned as a good way to stay positive, instead of saying, ‘IF,’ and, ‘MAYBE,’ I used words such as, ‘WHEN,’ and, ‘IT WILL.’ I prayed that our LOA would come this week over and over again, that God’s will be done and to not let anybody steal my faith.
This week, I have stuck with my positive attitude, knowing that God really would bring our LOA to us, this week. Though, I was still expecting Friday.
This week, I have stuck with my positive attitude, knowing that God really would bring our LOA to us, this week. Though, I was still expecting Friday.
Today was a good day, frustrating, but good. The homeschooling co-op that I am a part of, our drama class took a trip to Cincinnati to borrow costumes for our Little Women play, in a couple of weeks.
On the way home, my Mom, my best friend, Jamie, and I had to stop to exchange vehicles with my Dad and brother. While we waited, Mom checked her email on her phone (she has been constantly checking it this week!). And, all of a sudden, she starts shouting and yelling, “HERE IT IS! OUR LOA!”
On the way home, my Mom, my best friend, Jamie, and I had to stop to exchange vehicles with my Dad and brother. While we waited, Mom checked her email on her phone (she has been constantly checking it this week!). And, all of a sudden, she starts shouting and yelling, “HERE IT IS! OUR LOA!”
Our minivan was rocking from our joyful jumping.
Two days earlier than what I had asked. That, my friends, is what faith can do.
“God is never early and He is never late, He is always right on time and his plans for you are good.” A prayer of ours has finally been answered and I am proud to announce that we are moving on in the slow process of bring our baby girl HOME! Our Father is so great to His children.
I texted Tammy, and a couple of other friends the good news. I called Georgie and said, “Hey! It’s Emily….Our LOA just came!” All I could hear was loud laughing. “Praise Jesus!” she exclaimed.
I can honestly say that that is the best 16th birthday gift ever. One step closer to my sweet sister. We look to travel in June! SO exciting. SO cool.
Thank you, everybody, for the constant prayers! And please, please keep them coming. After we settled down from hearing about the good news, Mom breaks the happy silence, “That LOA is a weight that has been lifted….but I am so nervous now!” Hahahaha. The next two months will be crazy. Please pray for my family physically, spiritually, emotionally, AND mentally! Haha! Pray that God lays His hands on the financial situation and continues to bless us. Pray for our Sophie as she waits for us in China…that she will stay healthy and happy. God is and has always been with her before we ever knew she existed, He will continue to be with her until we can and will be for the rest of her life. I am covered in peace that God has this all under control.
Thank you, EVERYBODY, for your love to my family. Life is hard but God is still so good.
-Emily
