I’ve become quite the
planner in the past year or so. As much
as I love it, it has gotten me very overwhelmed so many times. Balancing home schooling, a college class,
family, church, a job, music, exercising this semester….balancing my spiritual
life, social life, work and school life….it’s been rough on this anxious little
body of mine!
It’s Christmas time
and I love Christmas. It means parties and programs and family and, for me,
missions. December is the month of the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering and I
just love her story and telling it. Reading about Lottie’s life story over a
year ago ignited a passion in me that never really died. Maybe because our
hearts have the same homes….Heaven, China, and I really do love Virginia.
I think it’s a lovely time to reach out to the many people who hurt around this time, and challenge my peers to live for something bigger than their own lives….something called the Gospel.
I think it’s a lovely time to reach out to the many people who hurt around this time, and challenge my peers to live for something bigger than their own lives….something called the Gospel.
On Monday, this
week’s load appeared on my to-do list. Since I can only take one week at a
time, I became very overwhelmed by what I needed to do before the weekend.
Panic settled in. I’m having a friend over tonight, Thursday is a math test
that I haven’t sat down to understand yet, we have a mission project this
Saturday followed by our Missions Night for the Lottie Moon Christmas Offering…
This season has been a learning lesson for number of things. One of those, the biggest, being trust. I think I mentioned in the last blog or something, but it’s been hard. I think trust is a hard one for everyone in different areas. Whether it’s not having enough money, dealing with a sickness, unanswered prayers, finals, no sign of a knight in shining armor coming soon…. I think everyone battles with trusting God. Maybe because we cannot physically see Him. And I think a lot of our trust problems and worries and anxiety are triggered by not knowing. Not knowing what the future holds. Realizing we’re not the keeper of the pen to our lives. I cannot see what’s coming up, what’s ahead of me, and honestly, it really just scares me.
This season has been a learning lesson for number of things. One of those, the biggest, being trust. I think I mentioned in the last blog or something, but it’s been hard. I think trust is a hard one for everyone in different areas. Whether it’s not having enough money, dealing with a sickness, unanswered prayers, finals, no sign of a knight in shining armor coming soon…. I think everyone battles with trusting God. Maybe because we cannot physically see Him. And I think a lot of our trust problems and worries and anxiety are triggered by not knowing. Not knowing what the future holds. Realizing we’re not the keeper of the pen to our lives. I cannot see what’s coming up, what’s ahead of me, and honestly, it really just scares me.
Monday morning, my
knees became weak, once again; my heart started racing, my throat felt like it
were shrinking, and the tears began to well. How in THE world am I going to do
this and do it well…
A
very sweet friend of mine shared 1 John 5:14-15 with me right then:
“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if
we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he
hears us – whatever we ask – we know that we have what we asked of him.”
Before you do anything else… Pray.
Before you do anything else… Pray.
Every day, I have to
wake up and make the choice of holding my plans so dear to me or giving them
over to Christ. I have dreams and goals and desires but I have to constantly
give them to Christ and with all of my might, make the choice of saying, “this
is what I would like to go after, but I want what You want.”
Trusting Jesus means laying down every hope and dream at the foot of the cross and leaving them there.
A wonderful lady in my life once prayed, “Father, we lay these requests at Your feet and please help us to not pick them back up.”
I really think that’s what trusting in Jesus means.
Trusting Jesus means laying down every hope and dream at the foot of the cross and leaving them there.
A wonderful lady in my life once prayed, “Father, we lay these requests at Your feet and please help us to not pick them back up.”
I really think that’s what trusting in Jesus means.
That’s what I’m
learning to do. With unanswered prayers, with math tests, with to-do lists. And
it’s just plain difficult sometimes.
As much as I was
looking forward to all of the events this weekend, I was praising Jesus for the
snow storm, here in southeastern Indiana. I truly didn’t like cancelling all
500 plans this weekend, but I think this restful weekend was necessary for
my heart and my body.
Yesterday, I finished
editing a short film and didn’t even get out of my pajamas until 5:00pm. Today,
I slept in later and crocheted and played in the snow with my family.
Rescheduled all of my plans for another weekend. And guess what? It didn’t kill
me to do that. And I’ve been beaming with pure joy because Jesus really,
really loves me and He wants His daughter to rest. So, that is what I want.
God’s plans for your life are bigger, deeper, wider, and better. He says in Jeremiah that when we seek Him with our whole hearts, we will find Him! Weary child, hand your dreams over. Be still, for the Lord is fighting for you. Breathe. We know you love Christmas, but you won’t love it anymore if you don’t slow down and chill. (wise words from my mama tonight)
Y’all, snow really can teach you things.
Sorry to post on your blog hun but I have been trying to reach out to rachel and rob via facebook because back around 2005-2007 they fostered my 2 kid's Breanna and David. I would love to touch base with them and tell them some awesome news. I know how much my kids meant to them. On facebook my name is Ann Weston please have them contact me. Once again I apologize deeply for posting on here.
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